Every golf coach searches for “The Player.” The golfer who can put them on the map. Leadbetter had Faldo. Haney had Tiger. Grout had Nicklaus.
Early in my career, I had just started working at Stone Harbor Golf Club in New Jersey. I had been there a few weeks when a member approached me and asked if I would be interested in working with his son. He told me the teaching pro had worked a little with his son, but the father felt I might be a better fit as I was closer in age to his son who was going to be a junior in high school. Dad informed me his boy had won the New Jersey State High School championship as freshman.
Imagine my excitement! This kid had to be a player!
We arranged for a time for the son and I to go out and play a round together. The father wanted me to evaluate his son’s game and determine if I could help him.
The day we played, I witnessed the most amazing round of golf I had ever seen.
At the time, Nick Faldo was the number one player in the world. Faldo played with precision. He was the best ball striker in the world. He hit fairways and greens.
My new student displayed a round of ball striking which would have made Faldo jealous. He hit 12 of 14 fairways. The two fairways he missed he missed by a combined two yards.
As impressive as the driving display was, the iron game was more impressive. He hit 16 of 18 greens. The two greens he missed, he missed just short within two feet of the green with pins cut in the front. In both cases, he was no further than fifteen feet from the hole. The longest birdie putt he had was 20 feet.
He hit fades and draws at will. He hit it long. He hit high shots and low shots. It looked incredibly easy and effortless. Seeing the ball striking, I understood how he won the state high school championship as a freshman.
I said it was the most amazing round of golf I had ever seen. Based on fairways hit, GIR and proximity to the hole, you would assume he went really low. It was the kind of ball striking display which produces 59’s. 63 or 64 without a problem. 68 would be meh.
But you know what they say about assuming.
He shot a score which should have been impossible, but I witnessed it. From tee to green, I was manhandled. I shot even par 72…and beat him by four. Unbelievably, he shot 76 without any penalty shots.
He didn’t make a single birdie. He had three four-footers for birdies, and he three-putted one of them. He made bogey on each of the holes he missed the green. He three putted one other time from six feet. Worse still, no birdie putt he hit looked like it was going in the hole, not even the four-footers.
Dad was waiting for us as we finished, and we went inside to have lunch.
To shorten the story, Dad knew what I was going to see. I said I believed I could help because I truly thought I could help. We went to work the next morning.
Starting on the putting green, I set up several drills I thought would help my young student. For over an hour, we worked the various drills, and I was shocked. The day before I witnessed a putting stroke full of all kinds of flaws, but, from the very first putt in the very first drill, I saw a flawless putting stroke. Putts were falling all over the place. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty full of myself.
We moved on to chipping and pitching. Again, close to perfection. Flawless technique. Whatever shot I had him hit, he performed masterfully. I thought I was witnessing a transformation of a monumental order.
We finished up our session. He went and played with instructions to keep detailed notes of every shot on each hole, and I headed into the shop for work.
After he finished, he brought in his card with his notes and went to get something to eat.
As I looked at the card, I was in disbelief. 77. He missed one green and three fairways. He made two birdies holing a six-inch putt and a three-foot putt. He got up and down on the one green he missed. The longest birdie putt was fifteen feet. Do the math. Seven three putts. Seven with no putts longer than fifteen feet.
I decided I was taking an early dinner and headed to the restaurant to join him for a bite to eat.
He confirmed everything in his notes.
The next day was my day off, but I told him to meet me at the course at seven am and we would get back to work.
I had him do the exact same things as the day before with the same results, and we headed for the first tee. After nine holes, I told him we were going in for lunch and to talk. He had shot 40 on the front nine without missing a green and only one fairway. No birdies and four three putts. He almost four putted from three feet on one hole.
The first question I asked was, “What are you thinking as you’re standing over a putt?”
His answer blew me away.
“Don’t three putt,” he said.
I asked if the thought was just over the longer ones, and he told me it was over every putt over two feet. He had no idea where the thought came from, but it started the previous year. He had never had a problem with three putts until the thought wormed its way into his brain. Putting on the course terrified him. Nothing else bothered him. Not water or sand. Not wind or trees. Not OB. Just putting.
I didn’t know it at the time, but there was more in what he said than I knew.
I spoke with his Dad later in the day. I still felt like I could help from the technical side, but the club had a member who was a sports psychologist and former NFL player, Dr. Lem Burnham, who worked with professional athletes. I felt the psychologist could help. Dad agreed.
After working with both me and Dr. Burnham, it appeared progress was being made. Dr. Burnham focused on one word: don’t. To the human mind, the word “don’t” doesn’t exist. “Don’t three putt,” registers in the mind as, “Three putt.”
It seemed as if the word was disappearing. He broke par a few times. Everything was trending in a good direction.
The PGA National Junior Championship is the penultimate junior tournament. The best junior players from around the world come to compete. College coaches from the elite schools are on hand to evaluate and recruit players. My player was entered. I waited anxiously for the phone call.
When his Dad called and told me what had happened in the opening round, my heart sank. 76. One missed fairway. Two missed greens. Coaches from Texas, Florida, Wake Forest, Arizona and Arizona St. followed him for the first three holes and then disappeared. Offers were not going to come. The opportunity was gone.
“Don’t,” reappeared in his mind.
Far and away, he was the most talented player I was fortunate enough to work with. I have been around some tour players and former tour players, and he was the best ball striker I have ever seen. No contest. One word kept him from being great.
And the same word is probably hurting your game, too.
How many times have you said to yourself, “Don’t hit it in the water,” or “Don’t hit it OB,” only to hit the ball in the water or out of bounds. Your mind doesn’t understand “don’t”.’ What you are actually telling yourself is, “Hit it in the water,” or “Hit it OB."
Understanding where trouble is on the golf course is important, as is not wanting to three-putt, but you need to eliminate, “don’t.” You need to eliminate the word.
Your thinking needs to change. Be aware of trouble. Acknowledge it. Rather than saying to yourself, “Don’t hit it in the ______,” think about where you want the ball to go to avoid the trouble. Instead of, “Don’t three putt,” think something like, “In the hole,” or, “Make it.”
While it sounds easy, it isn’t. It takes conscious effort. “Don’t” will creep into your mind. Try to not beat yourself up over it. When it does creep in, accept it, back away and reset.
It’s a funny game we are addicted to. Our swings can feel great one day and terrible the next. We can shoot a bad score one day and a great score the next. It feels easy one day and impossible the next.
We get aggravated and angry sometimes. We get frustrated over a poor shot or a missed putt. We obsess over what could have been. I am as guilty as the next guy.
And one word can keep you from playing well.
No matter how well or poorly you play, be thankful every time you put a tee in the ground. Enjoy every shot whether it’s good or bad. Be humble because it is a humbling game. Now, go golf!