My Favorite Mental Approach

Accept the Challenge

Last week I wrote about how a poor ball striking round and grinding through it is actually a good round. I have to admit I used to struggle mightily on those days where my ball striking was off. Poor shots brought on anger, and I allowed the poor shots to affect me negatively for the entire round. Each poor shot started leading to more poor shots. Even worse, I started pressing trying to force shots even when I knew a shot was nearly impossible. Each poor shot fed the anger which fed poor decision making…you get the picture.

You probably do or have done the same.

Like me, you’ve been told there’s no reason to be mad at a poor shot. It’s golf. It already happened. You can’t change it. Even pros hit bad shots.

Anytime I heard someone say any of those things they went in one ear and out the other.

When I was a junior in high school, my Dad found a local golfer who had played the PGA Tour in the ‘60’s who was looking to mentor a young player. He agreed to meet me and play a round of golf to see if it would be a match.

Al was a big, strong man with an affable personality. For him, golf was life and life was golf. He had a simple golf swing which produced quality shot after quality shot. A smile seemed to always grace his face, and his feet barely seemed to touch the ground as he walked on the course. I have never to this day met anyone who loved every moment on a golf course as much as Al.

We hit it off right away, and he decided to mentor me. We met once a week and spent most of our time on the golf course as he taught me how to think and play on the course. He believed golfers spent too much time on the range or practice green and not enough time on the course. Hitting the ball well on the range was one thing, but knowing how to play was a different skill. He taught me playing golf on the course is the only place to truly learn how to play the game.

In one of our early rounds together, I hit a block cut driver into the trees. I was angry with the shot as I watched it fly into the trees on the right. Al said nothing. All the way down the fairway, I muttered to myself about the bad tee shot. Al said nothing. When I reached the ball, I was still muttering. The ball sat on bare ground with an obstructed path to the green. I grumbled angrily. I heard Al walk up behind me.

“Why are you upset?” he asked.

“I’m upset because I hit a poor shot into the trees and don’t have a clear shot to the green.”

“Why does that upset you?”

“Because I shouldn’t have hit it here. I ruined my chance at a good score on the hole,” I snapped back.

He smiled and gently said, “You’re looking at it the wrong way. What you’ve given yourself is a challenge. The challenge to make the lowest score you can from here. Accept the challenge.”

I thought about what he said. I decided to give his advice a try and accept the challenge. I examined my options. I punched the ball back into the fairway, hit a wedge to about 8 feet and made the putt for par.

“That was a hell of a par,” Al said as we walked off the green.

I never felt as good about a par as I did in that moment.

After the round, we sat down and talked. Al wanted me to understand it was ok to get upset in the moment immediately following a poor shot. After all, it was a poor shot and not what was intended. But I needed to let it go right away. He explained every shot in golf is a challenge. Some are more difficult than others, but every shot is about creating the best opportunity to record the best score on the hole you can. Each shot produces a new challenge.

He stressed golf was about making the best score possible in relation to par. Sometimes, following a poor shot, a bogey may be the best score possible in relation to par. He emphasized this was ok.

From that day forward, I have strived to accept the challenge.

It took some time, and, I have to admit 40 plus years later, I still find myself letting a poor shot linger too long at times. I have to remind myself to accept the challenge I’ve given myself. When I am in the right mindset, I see every shot as a separate challenge, even the bad ones. Golf itself is a challenge. When you tee it up, accept the challenge which comes with every shot.

As always, be thankful when you get to play this amazing game. Be grateful for every shot. Appreciate every moment on the course. Now, go golf!