Grayson Murray and Lexi Thompson

The golf world was stunned in the past few weeks. It was announced 30-year-old Grayson Murray had passed away, later confirmed as suicide. A few days later, 29-year-old Lexi Thompson announced she was retiring from competitive golf at the end of the 2024 season. While there is no comparing suicide to early retirement, there are parallels which led to both events

Murray battled anxiety, depression and alcoholism during his career. At times, he served as a polarizing figure due to frequent on course outbursts. He caused a bit of a firestorm prior to the season as he fired his caddy, a man who had stuck with him during his battle to get healthy. But all that appeared to be behind him when he won the Sony Open. He spoke openly about being sober since early in 2023, and his faith and fiancé for giving him solid ground for his road to recovery.

Murray spoke about being unprepared coming out of college and onto the PGA Tour. He won as a rookie and said he was hungover for three days during the tournament. The result added to his feeling of invincibility.

But life on tour is lonely and difficult. It’s a solitary profession. Everything hinges on the player’s performance. Weeks at a time out on the road can feed anxiety, depression and loneliness. Add alcohol into the mix, and the anxiety, depression and loneliness become monsters consuming you.

Still, it seemed as if Grayson had moved into a great place. But that’s the thing with depression. Having suffered with it myself earlier in life, I know the dark thoughts and places depression can take you. I also know those thoughts and feelings can be masked and hidden from view while it eats you up inside. I put on a happy exterior while I was miserable inside. Those feelings took me to a very similar place. I overcame it. Sadly, Grayson fought unsuccessfully.

A few days later, Lexi Thompson announced she was retiring from competitive golf. While not as shocking as Murray’s suicide, the news was still surprising.

Golf is not a sport in which we as fans expect to hear a twenty-nine-year-old is retiring. Barring major injury or total loss of a player’s game, it never happens. And Lexi hasn’t had a major injury or lost her game. She is still one of the longest hitters in the women’s game. You can even see portions of her workouts on social media.

In her press conference, she spoke candidly about the pressures involved in competing at the highest levels. She got emotional as she spoke about her family, her limited friend group and the support she has received from them. Ultimately, she wanted to spend more time with them. She sounded tired and lonely. Lexi first appeared on the golf scene at the age of 12 when she became the youngest qualifier in history for the US Women’s Open. She has spent 17 years of her life in the spotlight and under scrutiny. A lot of the scrutiny has been negative focusing on unrealized potential. In this day and age of social media, the attacks have been brutal.

Negative public opinion aside, the internal pressure a player puts on themselves to succeed can become suffocating. I never reached a level where public commentary could impact my game, but I understand the self-imposed pressure a player applies to achieve success. When things start going sideways, the internal pressure increases. Sometimes it rises to a level where peak performance is impossible. From there, it can snowball to the point of complete inability to execute. I saw this happen with Lexi. The pressure of the moment along with the internal pressure to succeed led to failure in recent years.

Before seeing her press conference, I was as shocked as everyone else to hear Lexi was retiring. After seeing the press conference, I was reminded of my own experiences with professional golf. Although I never reached the same heights as Lexi, I related to what she said and what she was implying. For her the public scrutiny, the grind, the solitary life on tour and loneliness have become too much. She chose to walk away and get on with life.

Both stories contain lessons for all of us in golf and life. It’s all about perspective. Lexi has decided it’s important for her to have a more normal life at this stage in life. Golf is no longer the most important thing in her life. Grayson couldn’t get beyond his demons. He kept it hidden from those who were trying to help him. If you struggle with or know someone suffers from depression and/or addiction, please get help. It is never as dark as perceived. The light is always reachable. I know it’s possible. I reached the light.

This coming week, the US Open returns to Pinehurst #2. I will have an additional newsletter this week about Pinehurst. So, keep an eye out.

As always, be thankful when you get to play this amazing game. Be grateful for every shot. Appreciate every moment on the course. Now, go golf!